I stood before her apartment door and I almost knocked when I heard Lillian's voice from inside."No, I don't want your money, Theo! I told you I won't have an abortion."I distinctly heard a man's voice from inside, deep but too low to understand. Then Lillian again."You have a lot of nerve, Theo! First you lie to me to get into my panties. Then, when I'm in trouble all you have to offer is five hundred bucks for an abortion. No support, not even a friendly word."A knot of sickness formed in my stomach and I leaned against the door jamb. Now the guy inside raised his voice."I never lied to you!" Yes, you did! You were never separated from your wife. You cheated on her with me."I could not make out his response but Lillian's voice certainly carried."Elaine told me of the dinner at your house. Darling here, darling there. Not a bad word between you. You lied, Theo! Damn, why did I have to be so stupid? One last time to part in friendship, wasn't it? Where the fuck did you get that. You were word perfect and you moved almost faultlessly. Once you’re dressed for the role you will BE the role. The worst thing you do is make everyone else look hopeless.’ ‘Almost faultlessly?’ Trust Emily to pick on the smallest negative. ‘It’s the part where you stop talking and do the business with the ‘phone. You let it ring too long. You need to snatch it from the table. You’re longing for the call no matter how cool you seem. And when you move for it you need to move slow-fast, like you don’t want anyone to know how much it matters to you. You’re alone of course but even alone you guard your feelings, never let anyone see what you’re thinking.’ ‘Show me.’ I went on stage, put my ‘phone on the table and moved to where Emily would be when it began to chirrup. I said the last line that cued the ‘phone and Emily made ‘bring bring’ noises. I made to move, hesitated and then grasped it and lifted it slowly to my ear and said, ‘Yes,’ and as I did so I looked around as if making sure.
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